i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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