it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize
