I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
