dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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