**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
