i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
