I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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