he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
