Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
