Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
