Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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