no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
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