i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
