Someone shit on the floor
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
