real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
