i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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