I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
