Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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