I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
