I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
