so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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