you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Randomize
