Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I just googled if crying burns calories
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
