My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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