Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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