no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
