I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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