better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
