drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
