Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
