we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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