god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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