I wish they made helmets for livers.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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