I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
