South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
