For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
