first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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