I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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