There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Ladies don't puke and tell
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
