Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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