Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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