She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
