That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize