When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize