Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
How external is "for external use only"?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
