I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
