That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
