I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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