brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
