the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
