I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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