I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
