i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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