Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
