Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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