"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
