i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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