He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
