Where are you?
In a non slutty way
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
